Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
