I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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