Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
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