I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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