checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
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