is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
