You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
