You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
