If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he tried to convert me to islam
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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