I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
