I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
