Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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