I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
