man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
