There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
