I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
