That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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