Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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