ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Can i not drive my cunt home
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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