theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
