So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I just had sex on a roof
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
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