Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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