there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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