the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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