Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
