i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
I smell like Dick and happiness
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