I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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