You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
