4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
