$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
