help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
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