I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
