..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
