Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize