oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
