Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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