i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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