yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
