my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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