Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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