the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
