I must be too annoying 4 u.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
