it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
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