We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
