so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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