Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
