meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
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