I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
