i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
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I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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