I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
