he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize