Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
