I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She swung at the pinata with crutches
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
