Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Randomize
