...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So many bounce houses so little time
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Life without a bra equals bliss.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
