he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
