I would go down on you faster than GM stock
He kissed a someone with a penis
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
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