white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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