How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
