How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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