in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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