You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I could have mohawked her pubes.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
