i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
i need some magic done to my vagina
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
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