My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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