i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
