My boss' voice literally gives me gas
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
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Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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