Do you still have your period?
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
