Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize