I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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