I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
