dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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