I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
